A big struggle for a lot of couples is to decide on how they want to honour a lost loved one at their wedding. Someone may have passed away that played a big part in your life and you may want to pay tribute to them in some way, publicly or privately. Getting the balance right between acknowledging the person and not wanting to dampen the mood of your big day can be a tough one. So here at Marry Me Ireland we have compiled a list of the different ways you can do so and you can pick which one is right for you.
When choosing the right method for you, you need to take a few things into consideration. How long ago did they pass away and are you going to easily get upset by the tribute? What kind of personality did your deceased loved one have, did they like to be the centre of attention? And lastly how much attention do you want to be brought to the tribute? (you don’t want it to change the mood of your day).
Save them a seat
During your reception you can leave an empty chair where your lost loved one would have sat. Lay a bunch of flowers on the seat, perhaps with a photograph or a note. If you want you can bring attention to the seat during the ceremony or you can simply just be aware of it yourself. Keep in mind that looking out at an empty seat from the aisle may trigger upsetting feelings.
Incorporate them into the Ceremony or Reception
This can be in the form of a minutes silence in their honour or you could dedicate a reading or poem to them. If you would like something a little more private you could choose a poem or reading they liked to be read out but not mention their name alongside it. If you would prefer a tribute at the reception a toast in their name is a popular idea.
Wear Something of Theirs
It’s always a nice idea to wear a piece of jewellery they gave you or that was handed down to you when they passed away. If you don’t have anything to wear you may have something you can use that used to be theirs, such as toasting glasses, or a pen to sign the registry. If you like this idea but don’t have anything personally why not ask family members if they have anything you can use or wear.
Some brides attach photos of lost loved ones to their bridal bouquets or wear lockets with their picture. Grooms can wear pocket watches with a photograph inside or simply just carry their photo in their pocket.
A Mention in the Wedding Program
If none of these ideas are to your taste you can always just add a simple ‘In loving memory of…’ to your wedding program.
Here at Marry Me Ireland we have a wide variety of exceptional celebrants who can deliver the wedding ceremony of your dreams – traditional, unique or otherwise. So get in touch today and we can start planning your special day!